The Hangover 2 Quotes


The Hangover 2 QuotesThe Hangover 2 Quotes page will list the funniest and most memorable lines from The Hangover Part II which reunites the four best friends, Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms), Alan (Zach Galifianakis) and Doug (Justin Bartha) as they travel to Thailand for Stu’s Wedding.

The Hangover Part II hits theaters on Memorial Day, May 26th, 2011.  Below we have The Hangover 2 quotes from the Trailers which have been released so far.

Teaser Trailer

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Trailer 2: The Hangover Part 2 “Not According To Plan” Official (HD)

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The Hangover 2 Quotes from the Trailer(s)

The Hangover 2 Quotes from the trailers for the upcoming movie will be posted below.  When the movie hits theaters on May 26th, we’ll have alot of memorable quotes.

Alan: “This is kind of nice, isn’t it?  Three of us back together again?”

Stu:  “Oh God”

The Hangover 2 Quotes

[Alan’s wedding speech]

Hey Everybody
Here’s some fun facts
The population of Thailand is 63 million people
It is twice the size of Wyoming
None of you know Stu like I do
I can’t even tell you what we’ve been through because we made pact
What I can tell you is this.

This is not Stu’s first marriage
There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ….. [Interrupted by Phil]

Phil: All right, time’s up.  Time to sit down, buddy.

—————————————————————————–

Phil: “Stu Come on, Get up.  We got a situation”
Stu: “Where are we”
Phil:
“You’re gonna freak out, but its gonna be ok.”

[Stu Checks mirror and screams]
“This is a real tattoo!”

Stu: “Alan what did you do?  Did you roofie me?
Alan:  I didn’t do anything

—————————————————————————–

Phil: “It happened again.”
Tracy: “Seriously, what is wrong with you three?”

—————————————————————————–

Phil:  Chow!  What are you doing here?
Alan: He’s my plus one
Chow: We had a sick night bitches

—————————————————————————–

Chow: “Hold on gay boys!”

—————————————————————————–

Stu: “You got shot!”
Phil: “Am I gonna be ok? You’re a doctor.”
[ Stu screams as he looks at the wound ]

—————————————————————————–

Phil: “Pull that monkey in!

—————————————————————————–

Stu: “I can’t believe this is happening again!”

—————————————————————————–

Stu: “All I wanted was a breakfast brunch.”

—————————————————————————–

Stu: “I have a demon in me.”

—————————————————————————–

Alan: “We made a pact, Wolfpack only.”

—————————————————————————–

Alan: “When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it’s funny in any language.”

—————————————————————————–

[ Alan singing ]

We’re the 3 best friends that anybody could have.
We’re the 3 best friends that anyone could have, we’re the 3 best friends that anyone can have and we’ll never never ever ever ever leave each other.”

—————————————————————————–

Doug: “No one here has to know.”

—————————————————————————–

[ As the guys are entering a monastery ]
Alan: “What is this a P.F. Chang’s?”

—————————————————————————–

 

The Hangover Quotes from 2009 are available on the homepage.  Check this page later for more of The Hangover 2 Quotes.

More of The Hangover 2 Quotes to come.

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84 Responses to “The Hangover 2 Quotes”

  1. Marcus says:

    This one is gonna be epic!!
    Excited like an idiot.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 37 Thumb down 4

  2. Jamie says:

    super excited!!! 😀

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 4

  3. Thailand Thommy says:

    Sometimes when you snort coke your heart stops, read a book!!!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 109 Thumb down 12

  4. TBS says:

    What’s was the Shiitake comment?

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 13 Thumb down 12

    • Dickie says:

      What is that? It looks like mushrooms!
      Alan: Come on monkey, taste it!
      Stu: He’s not gunna understand you!
      *Monkey licks it*
      Alan: Does it taste like Shitaki?

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 100 Thumb down 4

  5. Brooke says:

    He’s farting from all the medication

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 49 Thumb down 9

  6. kieron says:

    i dont get it, is this a magic show?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 67 Thumb down 4

  7. Jared says:

    I saw this last night 5/26/11 these are my favorite

    -Stu: Look at this, this is a napkin over my orange juice so i don’t get ruphied

    -Allen:im sorry guys ive said to much
    Phil : What? what are you talking about allen?
    Allen: Ive said to much (then he gets up and leaves)
    Phil : (Chases after him and makes him say what happened)
    Allen: Im sorry i spiked the marshmellows with muscle relaxers… and my ADD medicine. it was for teddy.

    – Allen: Man I dont smoke but it looks so cool on a monkey

    – Chow: No stupid the monkey is the middle man.

    – Chow: I got dis shit… Hold on gay boys(drifts like a beast and smashes into a pig and covers up steve with blood). Sorry Stu

    – Chow: Nigga please.(hahaha in gay voice)

    – Chow: This little monkey party with us all night, blow coke and jerk me off

    – Wierd pimp guy telling allen how to say hello to chow: No you got to extend the ‘o’ like hellooo.

    – same guy earlier in the movie talking with stu & wolf pack
    Stu: we are looking for a boy
    dude: 2,000 dolla
    Stu: no a 16 year old boy
    dude: age doesnt matter.

    -talking to stus’s father inlaw.
    stu: ive got a demon inside me!
    allen: yes he has semen in him- one of my favs besides stu’s song

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 51 Thumb down 8

  8. Jeremy says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 11

    • Caitlin says:

      “were meditating in a secret garden?”
      “No he says his medication has him farting”

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 34 Thumb down 11

  9. Kaulitzb says:

    Drink up guys! Oh wait we can’t cause we’re in a FUCKING IHOP

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 122 Thumb down 7

  10. jela says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 12

  11. rainie says:

    everytime chow said nigga it sounded like he was saying niggra please

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 19 Thumb down 12

  12. Gilbert Seltzer says:

    Alan: “My uncle Roger said he once saw an albino polar bear.”

    Stu: “Polar bears are white. How would he know it’s an albino?”

    Alan: “This one was black.”

    Stu: “Isn’t that just a black bear?”

    Alan: “Whatever

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 199 Thumb down 8

  13. Ninjaa says:

    Samir: Tell Chao I said hellooooooo
    Alan: hellooooa?
    Samir: no more like helloooooo
    Alan: heeeeelllooooo
    Samir: Get the fuck out of here.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 50 Thumb down 2

  14. Jack martin says:

    Phil at iHOP: “if it wasn’t for Vegas you would have married a cunt, (looks at old couple) it’s ok its a bachelor party.”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 54 Thumb down 4

  15. Woojal says:

    I wish monkeys can Skype……….

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 99 Thumb down 6

  16. alan says:

    Alan: I wish monkeys could skype.. maybe someday

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 79 Thumb down 4

  17. augie says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 51

  18. JP says:

    “…is that a spiderweb?”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 7

  19. rebeccalynn says:

    Alan: I don’t get it, is this a magic show?

    Alan: First I lost my monkey, and now my hat. Could this day get any worse?

    Mr. Chow: Sometimes when you snort coke, your heart stops and starts up again. Read a book!

    Alan: I guess we don’t do dessert anymore?

    Alan: I was gonna have you sing ‘Burn it Up’ by the Jonas Brothers, but then I remembered you don’t like Indie music.

    Drug Dealing Monkey: Ooh ooh aah aah.

    Kimmy: You’re in Bangkock, there’s a reason they don’t call it Bangcunt!

    Phil: Fuck the police.

    Mr. Chow: Holla! City of Squalla!

    Alan: I’m a stay at home son.

    Alan: Would a cupcake kill ya?

    Phil: Chow! What are you doing here?
    Alan: He’s my plus one.

    Phil: You ever do anything that doesn’t end up in a standoff, Chow?
    Mr. Chow: I’m an international criminal, it always ends like this.

    Alan: This is kind of nice, isn’t it? Three of us back together again?
    Stu: Oh God!

    Alan: I’m going to miss you, I wish monkey’s could Skype. Maybe one day.

    Stu: Oh my god! Alan, your head.
    Alan: No, your head.

    Phil: You’re not my friend.
    Alan: Don’t say that, Phil. Are you serious? Even in America?
    Stu: You’re the bearded devil!

    Alan: This is kinda nice isn’t it? The three of us back together again?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 80 Thumb down 1

  20. ashley says:

    does anybody have the lyrics to stu’s song?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 8

  21. Marta Chadwick says:

    As Soon as I saw that the second Hangover would be showing, I honestly was so happy! I felt that this movie was one of the greates films of 2010 and that Hangover 2 was also one of the greatest movies! For the people trying to find a movie that will make you smile or laugh, I strongly believe that you guys watch the first Hangover or Hangover 2 because you will honestly get one of the best laughs of your life!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 22 Thumb down 10

  22. alexandra says:

    Phil: Allen, your hair is gone
    Allen: *feels beard*

    Stu: I have a demon inside me
    Allen: It’s true, he has semen in him.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 55 Thumb down 3

  23. stu says:

    my hat, and now the monkey.. this gotta be the worst day of my life.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 31 Thumb down 8

  24. paulina says:

    Chow: Used to be just balony, now they make you add numba!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 41 Thumb down 7

  25. Kris says:

    ^bologna

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 39 Thumb down 7

  26. nadine says:

    Allen to his mom: would a cupcake kill ya?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 25 Thumb down 3

  27. Layla says:

    Alan: “So what are you a doctor?”
    Teddy: “No, not yet, I’m pre med.”
    Alan: “Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?
    Teddy: “Ya?”
    Alan: “Well, he turned out to be a gay.”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 51 Thumb down 1

  28. Cece says:

    Chow: Im on my way niggas !

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 33 Thumb down 2

  29. Chris says:

    A monkey nibbling a pen*s is funny in any language.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 36 Thumb down 10

  30. vanessa says:

    TranStripper- It was beautiul you cry and we unload at same time
    Stu- what unload…. how did we do that
    TranStripper- easy i unload in you you drop load on floor silly

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 58 Thumb down 5

  31. CoffeeBeans says:

    I have a weakness for prostitutes. Apparently, of all kinds. – Stu

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 42 Thumb down 2

  32. Stark says:

    Well we’re living here in Alan town
    and he’s driven our lives into the ground
    When we woke up we were wasted and drunk
    Phil got shot we got beaten by a monk
    I was happy and my life was good
    getting married like a dentist should
    roasting marshmallows on a stick
    I got f@#$ed in the A$# by a girl with a D*@&
    And we;re living here in Alan town

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 158 Thumb down 5

  33. zhniklov says:

    Chow: ready for a sick ass story bitches??

    Chow: I have such an erection right now!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 29 Thumb down 3

  34. Alex says:

    Shu:Do you ever do anything that doesn’t end up in a stand off?
    Chow: Im an international criminal it always ends up in a stand off……….

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 4

  35. nat says:

    U try to kill on me?! Chow says as jumping out of ice chest

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 2

  36. Alex says:

    Does anyone know what the father in law kept calling stu? Some kind of white rice pudding?

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

  37. Alan: Careful! That is a Lewis Vuitton.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 42 Thumb down 5

  38. ilayda says:

    aahh* It’s a monkeeey :)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

  39. Samual Filler says:

    The hangover 2

    “The Hangover Part II” is what you will expect. I don’t think it was better then the first but it did a great job at being just as good.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 27 Thumb down 14

  40. Lucy says:

    phil…i’m scared

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 3

  41. Lucy says:

    we love to party

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 3

  42. sickpuppy says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 24

  43. Ebony says:

    Ya see that? That’s orange juice with a napkin on top. Ya know why? So nobody roofies me

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 43 Thumb down 3

  44. Anne says:

    I LOVE Chow’s quotes… SO FUNNY.
    Allen too :-)

    Allen: My uncle roger said he once saw an albino polar bear
    Stu: Really? Polar bears are white, how does he know it was albino?
    Allen: Cause it was black
    Stu: You ever think maybe it was just a black bear?
    Allen: …… what-evs.

    Chow: Chow so cold
    Phil: I’ll warm you up
    Chow: Chow so cold
    Phil: You did good buddy, you did good
    Chow: Chow did good

    Phil: Feeling better? You warmin up??
    Chow: I dont know. Come feel my balls and tell me, Ive been locked in a fuckin ice box all day… Hey allen, if you want my awesome sunglasses you just ask chow, you don’t have to KILL me
    Phil: Chow nobody killed you, you didnt have a pulse
    Chow: Oh you never done blow before?? Sometime your heart stop, start up again, Read a book!!
    Phil: Sorry we’re just having a bad day
    Chow: Oh you having a bad day?? Did you die?
    Phil: I got shot
    Chow: BUT DID YOU DIE??

    Phil: Who is that fuckin guy anyway?
    Chow: He part of my business
    Phil: and what business is that?
    Chow: Its called not YOUR business, kayy?

    Chow: I gotta lot of heat on my ass. I got FBI. Bangkok PD. Interpol. MSnbc…. That lil monkey snorting coke with me all night, jerking me off, while I watch Stu make fuck with lady boy all night, he not going anywhere

    Chow: Not terrible, what you talkin bout? Its fuckin genius! Ever see monkey go to jail?

    Chow: Im an international criminal, it always ends like this… I met my wife at one of these things.
    Stu: You have a wife?
    Chow: Yea, we married 15 years. What? Chow not good looking enough for women?

    Chow: You fuck me over 6 grand, you camel jockey…!
    Gun Dealer: You spit of me?? you spit on me?!! 8 grand last time, 6 grand this time… it’s not about the money man, it’s about the principle
    Chow: PinciPLE? Nigga, please. You know we both dead inside
    Gun Dealer: Don’t call me nigga
    Chow: Tootaloo Muthafuckaaaa

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 97 Thumb down 3

  45. Keara says:

    Alan to Monkey: Let the smoke fill your tiny little lungs.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 2

  46. Brolin says:

    Alan: I’m a nurse, just not registered.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 36 Thumb down 0

  47. Ellie says:

    Alan: [to his mum] I see that you have stopped doing desserts. I did not get a memo on this.
    [mother takes his plate]
    would a cupcake kill you?!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 27 Thumb down 1

  48. Alex says:

    Well we’re living here in allen town
    And he’s driven our lives into the ground
    When we woke up we we’re wasted and drunk
    Phil got shot
    We got beaten by a monk
    I was happy and my life was good
    Getting married like a dentist should
    Roasting mashmellows on a stick
    I got fucked in the ass.. By a girl with a dick!
    HAHAHA I remember that
    And we’re living here in Allentown

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 27 Thumb down 0

  49. Paul says:

    Phil: [to Stu] yo, rice pudding!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 1

  50. Regan Fuller says:

    Chow, do you ever do deals that don’t end up in a standoff?

    Of course not bitches, I’m an international criminal, they always end in standoffs

    😀

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 2

  51. CS says:

    Phill: are you warm yet?
    Chow: i dunno how about you feel my balls and tell me?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 19 Thumb down 2

  52. CS says:

    Chow: Did you die?
    phill: no but i got shot!
    chow: yea but did you diee?!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 0

  53. Lil B says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 9

  54. JoeyBEAR says:

    He got butt fu**ed by a chick with a d*ck!!!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 9

  55. tony says:

    I wish monkeys could skype. Maybe one day

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 2

  56. Tegdird says:

    Alan: “I’m a stay-at-home son.”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 31 Thumb down 2

  57. Tyler says:

    “What is this a P.F. Chang’s???”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 0

  58. Rob says:

    Phil: we are not friends!!! Alan: no dont say that phil are u serious? Not even in america???

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 25 Thumb down 1

  59. Jill says:

    “CHOW CROSSING!”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 17 Thumb down 1

  60. Thiis Chickk says:

    Mr. Chow: “Nigga please”

    One good quote(:

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 3

  61. Jason ray. says:

    What was the long John silvers quote??

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2

    • Cat says:

      “Alan: “I’ve been uh meaning to ask someone. I noticed it’s a fishing village. Is there a Long John Silvers on the island?”
      Lauren: “No, no I don’t think so. I’m so sorry.”
      Stu: “But, we are actually serving some great fresh seafood.”
      Alan: “Better than Long Johns?”
      Stu: “Yes.”
      Alan: “I’ll be the judge of that.”

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 38 Thumb down 0

  62. Ben says:

    Is there a Long John Silvers on the island?

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 4 Thumb down 4

  63. David says:

    Thai lady in hotel: *bows* Sawadee Krap!

    Chow: Whateverrrrrr! Chow coming through!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 1

  64. Jake says:

    Is this a magic show?

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 6 Thumb down 3

  65. Justin says:

    Stu: “Ive got a dark side….There’s a demon in me.”

    Alan: “It’s true, he has semen in him”

    Stu: “I said demon”

    Alan: ” but you also have semen in you, remember.”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 41 Thumb down 0

  66. Alison Wonderland says:

    Well we’re living here in Allentown
    And he’s driving our lives into the ground
    When we woke up we were wasted and drunk
    Phil got shot, we got beaten by a monk
    I was happy and my life was good
    Getting married like a dentist should
    Roastin marshmellows on a stick
    I got fucked in the ass, by a girl with a dick
    And we’re living here in Allentown
    And we’re taking teddys finger now
    And I’m pretty sure I’m guna lose my shit and probably shoot allen in a face…

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 1

  67. Paige says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 12

  68. CS says:

    alan: Wolfpacks great!, no membership fees..

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 1

  69. C,ess- says:

    Alan: Phill are you going?
    Phill: yea of course!
    Alan: well then it will be fun

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 2

  70. MarK says:

    Alan: Classic Stu

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2

  71. pazzlemols says:

    phill: check your pockets for stuff
    stu: check your phones
    allen: i got a text from chow at 10 lastnight, “on my way niggas!”

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

  72. Alex says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 8

  73. Cynthia says:

    Chow: Did you die?
    Phil: I got shot…
    Chow: But diiddd youu dieeee!?
    Lmao one of my favorite parts xD

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

  74. Atmk says:

    “There’s a reason we call it Bangkok and not Bangkunt.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  75. Patrick says:

    *wolf pack and chow in an elevator listening to time in a bottle*

    *silence*

    *chow starts to sing along to elevator music*

    Chow: “If I could save time in a bottle,
    The first thing that I’d like to do,
    Is to save every day ’til eternity passes away,
    Just to spend them with you”

    Phil: “Seriously?!?!”

    Chow: “What? Its a classic…”

    Phil: “Chow, do you ever do anything that doesn’t end up in a stand off?”

    Chow: “Im an international criminal, it aways ends like this!”
    ——————————————————————————————-
    *chow just got caught by fbi on top of roof, and is being taken away*

    FBI AGENT: “You see chow, its not the money…. It was never the money! It was all about the priciples!”

    Chow: “Principles??? Nigga please you know we both dead inside.”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

  76. Daisy says:

    Alan: Sorry about the lat minute change
    Stu: What last minute change?
    Alan: Well, Mike was going to sing Burning Up by Jonas Brothers, but then I remembered you don’t like ANY indie rock.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

  77. Popeye McGee says:

    I think HO2 went above and beyond what expected from a sequel, I laughed my arse off as did the rest of the movie, the IHOP scene to just the phone call Phil makes in the beginning you just know you are in for some crazy ride- I loved it, I’m ready to watch both back to back, is a 3 even possible, I don’t know, but I would love to find out?

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

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